Love Being a Mom

So, this was my first mothers day being a mother of 2 (OK 3 if you count Conny). The votes are in and I STILL love being a mom. Is it more difficult when you add another child in the mix? Yes, but my joy is that much more complete. Jordan is my sunshine when Jadelyn's skies are grey. Even though he takes up my arms much of the time and she frequently tells me she wishes I was an octopus, he calms me down and brings me peace when I reach my boiling point.

Today was a much different mothers day than the other 3 I've had. I was the only adult home (unless you count Conny, (Can we count her for 2 things...an adult and my child? hmm). My husband was in Utah and my parents are truck driving, so it left me, my 4 yr old, my 6 mo. old, my adult child, 2 adult rottweilers (one of which is in heat, oh joy, and she keeps trapping herself in the garage until her barking drives me crazy enough that I stop what I'm doing and let her out) and a lonely little puppy who doesn't understand where all her siblings went. Needless to say it was a roller coaster of emotions.

I've been pretty sappy all day. It started out as I reread my lesson for young women's about preparing to attend the temple. Should that have made me ball? I'm not so sure, but..it did. Then of course the mothers day talks in sacrament meeting today brought me to tears and every time I looked into my baby's eyes or Jadelyn said , I love you mom, my eyes would blur up again. They would also get all misty when she contrastingly said "mommy's so mean" -- the ever so changing moods of a 4 yr old girl.

Even though I had no one to show off fer, I did look pretty cute. Reading past entries from the pony tail challenge inspired me to paint my toenails bright pink. Those toes in combination with my really cute buckled shoes made me feel pretty. Not sounding very churchy? I think it all worked together, no worries. Even though I wasn't pampered like most mother's days, I got to fully do what this day is all about anyway. I did it all and did it all bymyself (and the help of my Father in Heaven OF COURSE) and even amidst the trials of the day, I enjoyed it. I did get to weaer my orchid corage which matched my toe nails quite nicely. And I got some beautiful flowers at church.

-- oohh, I just remembered an accomplishment of the day. I decided to start my diet today instead of tomorrow and tonight after Jadelyn was in bed and I was emotional melt down mood, Instead of reaching for the bag of chocolate chips, the left over Easter cany, or amking the chocolate moose recipe I've been wanting to try, I snacked on a grapefruit. Go me! It worked quite nicely to apease my emotional hunger and it wasn't followed by guilt. -- back to the love being a mom topic...

I do have joy in motherhood. I get to experience that joy when I focus on my strengths as a mother and not my weaknesses. Reading and participating in the ponytail challenge of the week helped prepare me to be in the right frame of mind today as I celebrated my motherhood, rejoiced in my accomplishments, and instead of wollowing in my weakness and sorrows...I'm looking with hope toward my future improvements.

Although I did OK at the 'single mom' thing today, I am SO looking forward to the return of my team mate tomorrow. Even when he's in town and at school the first half of the day and work the last half, being able to have him hold me at the end of the day or see him as he tells me he loves me at the beginning of the day gives me that extra strength I so badly need. Granted, I wasn't TRULY single, I talked to him at least 4 times and Jadelyn called him to ask if snakes hunt at night like owls? (mommy wasn't quite so sure) To all of those who successfully mother without a man at home, HUGE kudos to you and your strength!

The unconcluded thought of the day -- I have allot of improvements to make if my family is going to increase some day in order for me not to go INSANE! I need some patience counseling or something. I have a small capacity for noise. I think because there is so much noise going on in my head already, I have only a small space for outside noise. Of course, a barking dog, a whining puppy, a daughter with a MILLION questions, a Conny with her many grunts and "hay hee"s (that's how she says lacy), don't worry about a screaming baby before the petition me.

The conclusion of the day -- When I was 3 and decided what I wanted to be, Oh so wise I was. I do love this adventure.